This weekend I caught up on me-time.

Since my fiancé went to Vail to celebrate his bachelor party, I hung out in West Palm Beach cleaning, resting and organizing my apartment. As you know, I’ve made it a point to disconnect and refuel as best as I can this year; it’s helped rebalance my life, reset the internal compass and sharpen my perspective (and so I’m learning).

Naturally, I did a lot of reflecting. Then, I found myself doing a lot of scrolling (ugh). And I occasionally thought, “Why aren’t things moving as quickly as I would like them to be? What am I missing?” One day I feel like I have everything under control. The next day I feel I’m slowly inching backwards in the wrong direction. Developing a brand, one that is derived from all my personal experiences takes a lot of time, hard work and evolution. As rewarding as it may feel to have a creative breakthrough (you can read more about mine here and here), doubt definitely crept in this weekend.

I’ve always believed in that hokey saying, “What’s meant to be will be.” You know, the saying that reaffirms bad days (and good ones) are ultimately life lessons. Whether it is a bad job that pushes you to try something new or a bad relationship that leads you to the right person or a great opportunity that opens the door for more abundance to flow in — I like to think the universe has my back (as Gabby Bernstein says) and I’m on the right path.

But what about trust?

Trusting the universe’s ultimate timing is seriously one of the HARDEST things to do. I fully admit, I don’t have a lot of patience (thanks Amazon Prime, I blame you), I like maintaining some type of control over my job and path in life. Don’t we all? So how on earth am I supposed to “let go” and trust things will work out?

Then, my attention shifted when my best friend came over one night and confided in me. She’s going through a lot right now and all I kept saying was, “Just be grateful for the small things right now.”

She’s worried her wedding day won’t pan out as she had envisioned, which I sort of get. I mean you put so much time and effort into planning it – predicting and controlling all the possible outcomes – but ultimately something always happens that’s out of your control, right? I mean my parents’ videographer (my uncle) fell into a fountain in the middle of their ceremony and their wedding cake melted. Another friend of mine accidentally left her *mantilla veil at the hotel before walking down the aisle (*mantilla’s are a Spanish thing… basically it’s a delicate lace veil you drape over the bride to symbolize the act of veiling a woman’s beauty, so the beauty of the marriage may be celebrated instead). For a Cuban family, this is a BIG deal. I’ve also had girlfriends freak out minutes before the ceremony started, “Am I marrying the right person?!”

Knowing how secure my best friend’s relationship is, I encouraged her to keep trusting. Trust in the timing of things and that all her efforts won’t return void. Trust, that no matter what (silly, unplanned moment) happens on their day and throughout their life, they can rely on each other and will conquer even greater things together. Plus, they’ll inevitably be able to reclaim even more special moments in the future. Maybe it’s through a shared goal? Purchasing a home? Having their first child? Or through small moments like staying up until 4AM laughing at all the things that went wrong on their big day while eating a pound of wedding cake. Perhaps, it’s a late-night dance-off-slash-karaoke-performance to early 90’s rap music in your living room post-two bottles of wine. Maybe it’s the feeling of being inside during a good thunderstorm…or the smell of dewy grass the next morning. But that one day certainly does not symbolize the rest of their lives. There’s beauty in the imperfections.

Fashion Blogger Stephanie Hill features Life As I Know It February 2020 on The Style Bungalow

And of course as I’m saying this, I’m thinking to myself, “Take a dose of your own medicine, Steph.”

So as I struggle with brief moments of self-doubt this month, I’m giving thanks for weekends to myself and a best friend who makes me laugh and loves sushi just as much as I do. I’m thankful for growth, the challenges that come with evolving, and the will to let go and trust that timing is everything; for a textured life — literally and figuratively lol — one that’s sometimes messy but mine. Thankful for those small opportunities, even though they’re not as glossy, but they’re just as good, too. For love, lots of it and this wild ride we call life.

So I’m saying “yes” to “what’s meant to be will be” and celebrating “Life As I Know It” — all the in-between moments, infused with faith that things will pan out for the better, and gratitude, which I believe ultimately leads to happiness. And we all know that when you’re happy in life, good things happen. Doors open and luck strikes, right?