I was always the girl in high school who received detentions because of the amount of tardies I accumulated (not proud, but I blame it on wanting to look stylish, lol). Jump forward to my ballet days when I lived next door to my studio…you bet that still meant I was rushing into class between 5 to 10 minutes with tights, my leotard and a big sweatshirt when I really needed to be there 20 minutes early for warm ups. Today it’s not uncommon for me to text my photographer, “running 5 minutes late!”

Needless to say, I have a terrible habit of running late (must be the Cuban in me) so it should come as no surprise that I’m a few weeks late publishing May’s edition of “Life As I Know It.” Besides, a lot has happened! I went on vacation for 10 days, I got engaged, I celebrated with family…and came home to a mountain of work. Is it safe to say I need a vacation from my vacation already?

I remember thinking in high school that by the time I turned 30, I would be married with kids. 30 felt SO old to me at 17 and for some reason, that number meant I would have it all figured out. I never imagined getting engaged at this age, about to turn 31 in a few months, with so many questions about “adulthood” still looming in my mind. Some would say I’m “late to the game,” while others would claim “she’s living life to the fullest!”

Having grown up in Texas where most of my childhood friends are married with kids, I felt a little insecure not having an engagement ring on my finger in my 20s. A part of me questioned what was wrong with me – “was I too selfish pursuing a career as a professional ballerina? Or maybe I spent too much time starting my blog in my mid-20s?” Friends would ask, “Stephanie, why aren’t you married yet?!” I would confidently say, “because I’m focusing on my career” but deep down, I feared that maybe marriage wasn’t meant for me, that I was broken or that maybe I needed to work on a few things before jumping into another relationship, like myself. “Don’t worry Steph! You’ll meet someone, timing is everything.” Ugh, that cheesy saying! I was so sick of hearing it!

I spent two years in my late 20s being single. Being a “serial monogamist” who loved being in love, I will admit this time in my life wasn’t easy (it was also during some of the hardest moments of my blog where having a supportive partner would have been amazing). But after a while, I learned to love myself again, go through obstacles on my own, trust myself and gain even more confidence. It was also during this time I met my best friend and now, fiancé.

We talked about getting married for months. I knew it was coming, but nevertheless felt caught off guard when it finally happened – cue happy tears. Life slowed down as he got down on one knee and all those memories of heartbreak, personal failures, fear and anxiety of not being engaged faded away and replaced with the feelings of safety, security and happiness I’ve always dreamt of because I have found the one. The timing was perfect.

I used to think that, “timing is everything” meant “my life had to be perfect” to meet someone. When really it meant, “you have to love yourself first, Steph.” Loving yourself (or at least accepting yourself) was 100% the most important step for me – and one that required a bit of time.

Much like marriage and the commitment you make to “the good and bad times,” I do not doubt for one second that the notion of “loving myself” will ebb and flow throughout my life. Life’s bound to surprise and teach me lessons that will catch me off guard – if there’s anything I know by now, it’s this. But I certainly won’t stop attempting to love myself every day, accepting my timing for what it is and working towards becoming the best version of myself at home, work and in marriage. The wonderful thing is that now I have a partner who fully supports my dreams, loves my individuality…and gives me complete, utter freedom to just be, even if that means I’m a little late. <3

Blouse: (c/o) Magali Pascal

Pants: (c/o) Magali Pascal

Sandals: (c/o) Sezane, sold out – similar here 

Bag: (c/o) Brahmin – more options below!

Belt: vintage, from my mom’s closet!

Earrings: Kenneth Jay Lane 

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Xo, Stephanie